An Utter Travisty Of A Mind

So i have some weird dreams but this one made me think a little.

Anyways, the dream was this. I was working at the deli (which is my job right now) just cutting meat, and all of a sudden my clothes were gone. One of the other deli clerks asked me to put some clothes on, but i couldn’t find any. So for the remainder of the dream i served people cut meat, naked.

These kinda dreams are normal, since they are parodied all the time on television. Then a thought popped into my head. Aren’t i supposed to show up to school without clothes, and that’s when i started to dive back into my memory as far as me being naked at school in a dream.

I never have had one…did i miss out on it? or is my brain simply making up for lost time and throwing me into a situation i would normally find myself….darn your brain your so behind. Has anyone had a dream like this?

                                                 what

                                        do

                                 i

                      have

                to

                          do

                                    to

                                                make

                                                            you

                                                                    see

                                                         that

                                            one

                                    day

                            I

                                   may

                                             just

                                                      vanish.

So…if i am not able to recover anything from my harddrive of my now dead labtop, i will have to start from zero, again. This weather is not helping the heat is making me very iritable. If this is how the start of my summer is going to be, i am not seeing a very posative year, again.  I need to get out of herem, but so many things are keeping me chained down. Can i just press the reset button? I would love to have another go at my life right now.

The taste of the rain yet to come.

The sound rearing,

tuning itself for symphony ahead.

*

Light, being strangled out

leaving only the unfamiliar in the air.

All the while the tension boils.

*

Every nerve flinches

at the slightest of sounds.

The world is magnified.

 Electricity sifting threw the darkness above

illuminating the edges,

Increasing all intimidation

*

Till reality shatters

with a satisfying Crack

It rips threw life,

letting all fall, letting all fall.

Alright, so a few weeks back i was serving a customer at the deli, and the women that came up had a kid in the cart. I see kids all the time, but i had to make a double take, because something was off about the kid.  So i offered the kid some cheese, and the picture to the left was the result…..the weird thing is that is picture of me from 1995. I was in utter shock when i saw the kid, i had so many questions and things to say, “How old is the kid? whats his name?” stuff like that….than i realized how FREAKING creepy that would sound coming from a a deli clerk.  I wanted to take a picture, but once again freaking creepy as hell. So all i have is my eye whiteness account.

So after thinking on it for some time i come up with two conclusions.

1)  I am one of a series of clones created by the government.  They experiment was terminated in the 90’s when the results were lack luster, so any thing left was destroyed or circulated into the public. Aka the already fertilized eggs were frozen and circulated into those programs to get unfertilized women pregnant.  Hence the age difference.

2) This women and child are actually from another universe in which time is off by 18 or so years. That would explain the age and the fact that i haven’t seen these two since that time.

You can come up with your own conclusions….i am just baffled…..

why you make me cry first thing in the morning?????

It was not my intention…i had recently was cleaning out old files and i stumbled upon it, i thought i had lost it so i wanted to make sure i didn’t loose it again. I Will put some fun things up i swear!

This is a poem i wrote for a theater teacher who was a great inspiration to us. This last December she passed away from her long fight with cancer. I wrote this for her at the school’s memoriam.

 You came to us on a spring day,
Haired tied neatly in back
Eye blazing blue at the new opportunity.

We, not just you and me,  but us
Sat that day to discusses
The  theater position you could fill.

After a time when all business was done,
You chatted about your passed behind the curtain.

To the places you been, and the sights you’ve seen,
And with ever more epic tail, ever more did the students lean.
Fascinated with this women before us.

When at the end of the day
the decision  was made,
That you, Julie, would be joining us
Here on Colby Sawyer stage.

You taught us for two semesters,
Filling out brains with countless lectures,
And all the while bringing your own uniqueness to the stage.

Your heart and soul 
Went  full into your goal,
To restore theater to this campus.

So  you put forth plays of every type,
From  enchanted pigs
 To lady of pleasures
who’s ending we had to rewrite.
And all the while
Fueled your goal to get the theater
Into the public’s sight.

A beat was never missed,
When a joke was delivered
Even if it was uttered by me.

You showed me theater was
more than just a stage,
And with a few costumes alterations
How an audience reaction can change.

But the most important part
Out of anything you have done,
Was come into our lives,
And make our theater family one.  

Realities rays are

far stronger,

when you step out of the shadows

of those who have helped support.

My arms are to heavy from holding,

i barely have the strength to write my own ideas

so when i am unhinged from my duty,

i come home to blank pages.

Even when my mind is on relentless attack,

my heart seems to be the only one holding a defense.

Thought ,why leave me?

We were so good together,

you and me.

.

We built worlds out of nothing,

brought life to the whiteness of my mind.

Than one day you just had enough.

.

Now what am i suppose to say?

when all i want, is to be with you thought,

where ever you are.

.

Thought, do you here me?

Have you traveled beyond my voice?

The world is so bland without you,

please return to me.